Yesterday was supposed to be the first day of our summer holiday in Slovenia... But it was the day that scared me, that shook my foundations, that left my head buzzing with endless questions...
When speaking on Skype over the past weeks, I thought that my mum had been much weaker, paler and and was getting skinnier. But seeing her in real, it left me speechless...
Is she dying???? How did we not notice sooner? Is it just me? Can my brothers and sisters see the same? Can my father see it? How did we ever find hope when we were told that she had stage 4 ovarian cancer? Did the encouraging results of chemotherapy fooled us? Was she lying to us about the success? Is there a cure that can still save her? How do I convince her to go to the doctors? Who do I talk to?
It feels like I am going to be sick. I need to talk to someone. I need to talk to my sister...
The children sense all my emotions even if I try to hide them. The night was horrendous with both of them waking up on rotation and me not being able to fall asleep thinking about my mum.
